He asks me to spread wider for him.
I’m torn. It took enough just to sit here for him, this exposed.
The battle in my head. To please him. To prove to myself that I can embrace this. Fighting against the years of voices telling me I was not good enough.
My body has already decided where it’s loyalty lies. I’m dripping, I can feel my thighs are slick and hot.
I want to succumb, I want to give myself this.
I look at him. His patient face. His confidence that I will follow his request. His utter surety at this outcome.
My body is a willing slut ready to be peeled open. My mind rages and refuses to move.
I sit there. The moment runs forever. My mind churns. I hate that it can’t be easy. So many others would just simply open up, bare all. Why is this not straight forward for me.
It is such a simple step. Why can’t I just part them?